Day One

If this is what an effective diet looks like, count me in! No hunger, no calorie counting, no fiddling with little charts or keeping track of what I've eaten.

But: no TV or radio today.

Originally Dave (lovely, un-chubby hubby) and I were going to go to a friend's concert tonight, so I thought the media ban would be easy. Wrong. Due to a ticket / communication mixup, it's all off. Normally the first thing I'd do would be to flop down on the sofa and switch on the TV. But now... erm... I feel strangely at sea. And having a shower without the radio this morning seemed eerie somehow. But I decided that I was going to 'listen to what I wanted to' in my head, and felt surprisingly spontaneous and independent.

I feel quite fresh. Like a new person is about to appear from inside me somewhere.

Maybe as my habits get pulled apart it will start to feel much more disorienting and painful, but right now, it feels good.

Discovering how much of my life is controlled by habits, however, is quite embarrassing. I used not to think of myself as a rigid, structured person, but even now I am startled at the mental restrictions I imposed on myself without even thinking. Call myself an artist?! This has got to stop.