Day Eleven

Sadly, today was a rather difficult day again. My task was to be either more flexible (able to change what I was prepared to do according to other people’s wishes) or more determined, depending on my current habits. Dave and I noticed that for this, like most of the other tasks, we were at the opposite ends of the scale. There was an ironic conundrum at the heart of this task – how to nag Dave into fulfilling his bit of the bargain without being determined? A fractal-like whirl of scruples unfolded.

I’m not sure how different this was supposed to be than Days Eight or Nine, because it seemed so similar in effect, although arguing my point in discussions was allowed.

Anyhow, the same grumpy results ensued, with me feeling I ought to go down Bedruthan Steps (very steep blocks of rock cut into an enormous cliff) in the vicious wind because that’s what everybody else appeared to want to do. At first the descent was ok and rather enjoyable, but after our long amble around the rock formations, I was really stuggling to make my way back up the cliff face while being splattered by a little waterfall. I clung grimly to the freezing steel banisters and managed it somehow. Had to take my inhaler and was absolutely knackered for the next few hours. Not much fun. I couldn’t have done it without Dave who provided moral support and carried my bag for me. Felt like a wimp. A uniquely bitter combination of frustration at myself, at the others, at the No Diet Diet and the weather.

Still, once again, I put up no protest when the others seemed to aim directly for The Crappest Chippy in Padstow. I wasn’t hungry and, in any case, would have much preferred a salad. Dave and I agreed to share a burger and chips. When it arrived we knew we'd been had. It looked more like lego than food. So I felt sorry for everybody else too.

I then went on to break the rules a bit when Katie and Mike ran off gleefully to get seats on the powerboat ride around the harbour. I was really very cold by that point and didn’t want to get wet as well (such a moany old wench!) but thankfully Dave also decided to sit out. This made me feel a bit less like a party pooper, and we ambled off to a nice old pub with a great view out over Padstow harbour and had a cuppa together, accompanied by a lovely private chat.

Further opportunities for polite deference cropped up when we began the usual search for somewhere good to eat. (An unlikely recommendation from one of our friends who is a bit of a hoodie type, Lawd bless 'im.) I would have much preferred one of the beautiful Cornish icecream parlours around the harbour, but we set off for ‘somewhere in a hotel near a church’. Actually, much to my surprise, we found it. And had the hugest cream tea I’d ever seen. It was yummy, but I felt a bit bloated afterwards and berated myself for wolfing down scone number 2.

I’m a bit disappointed with myself. Not with the way I’ve achieved my tasks, but generally with my (in)ability to focus on other people instead of myself and how I’m feeling. I’m comforting myself with the thought that if I’d have piped up at the right moment in Padstow, I’d have saved us from some cholesterol poisoning and helped everybody to appreciate their lunch a bit more.

However, things got much better of their own accord once we left Padstow. We headed to the Riv, which is a fantastic surf dude type bar and restaurant just across the bay from our little place. It has a framed stuffed eel on the wall above one of its doors with a tiny plaque at the bottom inscribed “The Eel is evil and it must be punished.” We drank cocktails and played pool. I had a wonderful time, we had some enlightening conversation and made each other giggle hysterically playing crazy Bob’s “Laugh the loudest you can but only with one laugh” game. I think the locals must have marked us off in their ‘unhinged Londoners to avoid’ book.

To get back to the general point of my (now approaching tome-esque proportions) blog, I wonder if this program makes you more introspective. Perhaps I’m quite a navel gazer anyway, and in general I’m pretty sure that I should focus on other people a lot more, but doing this has certainly highlighted that it’s something I need to work on. When my tasks have been difficult, it’s made me feel like an awkward big kid who’s sulking because she can’t get her own way.

I just can’t tell whether things would have turned out the way they did, with or without the No Diet Diet to rein in my usual behaviour.

One thing I do know: I’ve only had one glass of Diet Coke this week, and haven’t really missed it so much the rest of the time.
Well, maybe once.
But I have to say that even that is pretty surprising, considering my previous dependence on the evil brown liquid.

What will the scales say, huh? Tomorrow I’ll find out.